Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Irony, thy name is Baby
Today is my due date. A great deal of time and energy has been spent over the past nine months to keep this baby inside when he had no intention of going anywhere. I've had enough doctor's appointments to use up nearly fifteen sick days (and most of those were taken as half days), six ultrasounds, extra cultures and bloodwork run (and related conditions treated), weekly cervical checks for the last two months, two fFN tests; all of this to be sure this baby stayed put long enough to be full term and here we are... the fullest of full term. With no progress to show for it. It seems that this baby is digging in his heels and staying put.
One way or another, this baby will be here sometime in the next two weeks. Just how he gets from the inside to the outside is still to be determined. Ironic, is it not? The moderate level of work and planning involved in getting a baby to grow inside me in the first place which lead to a more serious level of work and planning involved in keeping that baby inside me for the duration which now leads to an as yet unknown amount of work and planning involved in figuring out how to get the the baby out of me. The first two seem in direct opposition to the third. They shouldn't all be that difficult.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Go ahead... ask me about my giant baby
The tech was a woman about my age who I haven't had before (and I've had a lot of ultrasounds at this imaging office). As we got settled and set up, she reviewed my information with me and told me that Dr. Maestro delivered the youngest two of her three sons (both induced) and that she loved our doctor. I asked her if she didn't mind sharing the details of her inductions with me. She said they were both the same, both textbook and both easy. She thinks she was only about a centimeter dilated when she went in each time. Pitocin was started around nine in the morning, he broke her water around noon and her boys were delivered around four or five in the afternoon.
She took a long time taking measurements and shared information about what she could see with us, which was nice. As she took measurements, both the Hubster and I tried to see the gestational age estimates that pop up on the screen. They all seemed to be in the 39-40 weeks range; nothing extraordinarily large. The largest measurement was the abdominal circumference which was 40 weeks and a few days (I can't remember; maybe two or three days). The head measured at just under 40 weeks (39 weeks and 4 or 5 days?); the femurs also.
The upshot? Using abdominal circumference, femur length and head circumference, the baby's current weight is estimated to be 8 pounds 10 ounces. "Plus or minus half a pound," the tech stressed.
This is good news. My gut has been telling me that this is about an eight pound baby, but honestly couldn't be much more. I just don't look it. Minus half a pound puts the baby at 8 pounds 2 ounces right now, which makes sense to me. The Monkeyboy was 8 pounds 3 ounces at his due date, which is about what I had estimated all along (that he'd be an eight pound baby). This estimate fits right in line with that. Based on that estimate, the baby is in the 74th percentile, which is also in the range where the Monkeyboy usually is. (At the last ultrasound, the baby was estimated to be in the 86th percentile!)
Of course, the Hubster was quick to point out that plus half a pound would put the baby at 9 pounds 2 ounces, which is about where they estimated at the previous ultrasound that the baby would be now. I told him we will not talk of such things.
In the past few days my confidence in my doctor has been lagging. I've been wondering why he hasn't tried to ripen my cervix with prostaglandins and induce me if he's so worried about this baby's size. Then, over the weekend, I learned more details on the birth story of an acquaintance of mine, of which I knew only the bare minimum before (different doctor and hospital than mine, I should note): induction, pushing for hours, two types of suction used, baby stuck in birth canal, baby's heart rate dropping, baby pushed back up and emergency c-section performed as baby coded, baby revived but suffered repeated seizures that required a NICU stay of a month and have lead to developmental issues over a year later.
This was more than a little bit on my mind over the days that followed. Yesterday OldChristine talked me down, reminding me of why we love and trust our doctor. "He wouldn't let anything like that happen." And just like that, I felt my confidence return. Silly, I know, but every woman I know who is a patient thinks the world of this man and his skills. And that speaks to something.
Tomorrow I go back for another OB appointment. I'm trying to keep expectations low, as I usually do, so I'm not sorely disappointed at my lack of progress. (But I'll admit, there's been a little clandestine crying after appointments these past few weeks). I'm hoping that tomorrow we can formulate some plan as to what we'll do over the next two weeks. Whether I progress or not, something's gotta give. I'd like to know what possibilities I'm looking at, if only so I can process them mentally and emotionally before I come to them physically.
At the end of my ultrasound session today, I thanked the tech for sharing the details of her births with me and told her I'm always glad to meet someone who thinks Dr. Maestro is as great as I do, because it confirms what I feel. "He's fantastic," she told me. "You're in good hands."
Lesson Learned #3
Nonetheless, having already experienced the frantic "we're-not-ready" feeling of a pre-term birth, I made sure that we did adequate preparations for this baby well in advance of my due date. (Which is tomorrow, for those that haven't noticed).
We are ready for this baby: Our bags have been packed since the beginning of April and most of that luggage spends every day riding around in my car (I'm really tired of feeling like the Clampetts every time we venture more than 30 minutes from home); baby clothes are washed and ready; baby "equipment" that was loaned out has been retrieved; arrangements have been made for the Monkey to spend time with his Gram while we make him a big brother (I'd like it noted that I'm being very generous with that "we."); even at work I had two months worth of information prepared to enable a substitute to be me (with the last day of school only three days away, that's all gone to waste). There are a few loose ends to tie up, but overall, we're ready.
So what is he waiting for?
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Consolation Prize
This was the inspiration for the "Consolation Prize." I told the Hubster that, from that point forward, whenever another woman who we knew announced she was pregnant, he needed to buy me a present. That way, I'd look forward to the pregnancy of others, because it would bring me something, too.
Don't you know, before I was able to collect a single consolation prize, I got a positive pregnancy test. When I woke the Hubster up that Monday morning in April 2005 to show him the test, his exact words were, "Wow... Now you owe me a present."
As of today, I'm 39 weeks 4 days pregnant. Although this isn't anything that would in an average pregnancy cause concern, when I throw my uncooperative cervix and (possibly) giant baby into the mix, the looming of my due date is causing me considerable stress. And there's been nothing going on to indicate that, well, anything is going on.
But, as my due date is just three days away, I'm forming a new consolation prize plan... to commence in four days.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Maintaining the Status Quo
Dr. Maestro's opening line this week: "Every time the phone rang over the weekend, I was sure it would be you. I even had one Jen call, but it was another patient named Jen." And no one is more sorry that I've disappointed him than I am.
In related news, I asked the doc about the pain I've been having for the last week that's over my right ribs in front (it's different from the right side rib pain that I knew was the baby pushing, since I had the same pain with the Monkey). This pain starts as a tingling and works its way up to burning. Or, as my doctor suggested, tearing. Yes, that's right: tearing. It's the muscle tearing itself away from my ribs as the baby is stretching for room. Dr. Maestro said he had one patient whose muscle was so strong it held onto the rib and instead of separating from the bone, her rib broke. The possibilities just get better and better.
The rest of my appointment was hardly noteworthy. My weight is at 158 1/4, which is up 33 1/4 pounds overall (up about 1/2 a pound from last week, if I recall correctly), the baby's heartrate was 140, my urine was "negative and negative" of what they look for (I'm thinking they look for the protein that would indicate pre-e and then whatever would indicate a UTI). In fact, the nurse commented that the sample was very clear and the PA said -- I'm not kidding either -- "beautiful urine sample... they've been beautiful the whole time." What can I say? I have beautiful pee. I suppose I can be thankful that at least I've got that going for me.
Next week I have an ultrasound scheduled on Tuesday at 39 weeks 6 days to estimate fetal weight (again) and then an OB appointment on Wednesday at 40 weeks, where my doc will have the ultrasound results and presumably we'll talk more about my giant baby. He also said he'd start non-stress tests next week.
Unless I go into labor before then. Which I'm not expecting.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Two-fer Tuesday (Lyrically Speaking)
He's going the distance
He's going for speed
She's all alone (all alone)
in her time of need
-- Cake, "He's Going the Distance"
Or, if you prefer...
The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you get one more yard
You take it on faith, you take it to the heart
The waiting is the hardest part
-- Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, "The Waiting"
Monday, May 19, 2008
Single Digit Countdown
I start my days in discomfort and end them in actual pain. Most of the pain comes from the baby himself -- he'd got his feet wedged under my ribs on my right side (and he seems to be out of room everywhere else, too). By afternoon I can't get any relief, even while stretching. Other times I wonder where he got the grapefruit spoon* he's using on my cervix to try to tunnel his way out. Backache, hip pain, cramps, round ligament pain, contractions... none of it so far has produced even the slightest evidence of progress. What I wouldn't give to see my mucus plug. I cling to the baby's 0 station as my only hope. We'll call it my "Obi-Wan Kenobi." Not that it's done much for me in the past few weeks, but it's all I've got.
The phone calls have started; people assuming that I must have had the baby and just forgot to tell them. So far I've been good natured about it; when people call, I laugh along with them. My history of a previous pre-term birth has faked us all out. I wonder how long it will be until my good humor runs out.
*Can you believe there's a Wikipedia entry for grapefruit spoon? I was beyond surprised.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Eviction Notice
Effective May 14, 2008, tenant has two weeks in which he can both gather his belongings and promptly vacate the premises. He may choose to wait until June 11, 2008 (thirty days) after which he will be physically removed from the property.
Tenant is being evicted due to breech of contract and destruction of property. Expansions to the front of the house only, within reasonable limits,* were discussed. Not only have these limits been exceeded, but additions to the back of the house were also made. Remodeling and gutting of the home was never approved, nor was changing the initial layout and base structure. Due to property damage, there are now leaks in both the upper and lower levels of the home. In addition, the landlord has received numerous complaints about nightly disturbances. Any further problems will result in immediate and forceful removal.
Owner (A.K.A Mommy)
*I found a stretch mark beside my belly button last night. Since I was able to escape them during my last pregnancy, I was praying for the same this time. Apparently this will not be the case this time, no thanks to Mr. LoCoFiPo (long closed firm & posterior), the giant baby who plans on never leaving my body.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Lesson Learned #2
My 38 week appointment is later today, but I'm not holding out much hope that there's been any progress since last week. I have been having cramping and lower back pain since Sunday, but I'm determined not to get my hopes up. What I'm focusing on instead is the unlikeliness that this really could be a nine pound baby. Instead, I've decided that it will be somewhere in the seven to eight pound range. (Yeah... like I really get to decide these things). A baby of that size makes sense to me, based mostly on my size (both pre-pregnancy and currently) and on Monkeyboy's size. As the Hubster always likes to proclaim about our son, "50-75th percentile for height and weight, but 90th percentile in head circumference!" In his family, the boys just have big melon heads as kids. And it's not the head that's usually the problem when it comes to birthing a large baby (although it can be), it's the shoulders.
Estimated weights for fetuses are based partly on ultrasound measurements of head circumference (also on abdominal circumference and femur length). But there are a range of other factors involved in assessing the chance of a large baby. According to this article, after gestational age (at 40 weeks, there's a 12.3% chance of macrosomia) and maternal race (Caucasian babies tend to be larger), these "major parental, environmental, and pregnancy-specific determinants of birth weight" should be used to estimate the chance for macrosomia:
- Maternal Height. "Family pedigree studies have shown that, on average, "big people have big babies and small people have small ones." I'm 5'2." Or, as I like to say: I'm not short; I'm built low to the ground for speed and accuracy.
- Maternal Obesity. "...the more a mother weighs, the larger her fetus is likely to be." I was a healthy weight and BMI before pregnancy.
- Maternal Pregnancy Weight Gain. "...the greater the weight gain is, the larger the fetus is likely to be." I've gained only 32 pounds so far... within the 25-35 pounds recommended weight gain. Hey, it's not that I haven't tried to gain more, what with my Oreo obsession and all.
- Parity. "At term, a fetus typically gains 0.2-0.5 g/day for each increase of 1 in maternal parity." So I can expect this baby to be a little bigger than the Monkeyboy. (But by this same reasoning, shouldn't Michelle Duggar be giving birth to about a fifty-pound baby next New Year's Day?)
- Fetal Sex. "On average, male fetuses weigh more than females by 136 g (5 oz) at term." Okay, so boys are bigger. What.ever.
- Ambient Altitude. "...an increase in altitude of 1000 m accounts for a reduction in term birth weight of 102-145 g." I knew we should've moved to Tibet for this pregnancy.
- Maternal Hemoglobin Concentration. I'm not really sure what this is. There seems to be some connection between altitude and blood thickness. "The relationship between birth weight and circulating maternal hemoglobin concentration is inverse, such that for each 1.0-g/dL increase in maternal hemoglobin concentration, term birth weight is reduced by 89 g." I know that because of my anemia, my hemoglobin is low. Does this mean anemia can cause bigger babies? Or is only the opposite true (that high hemoglobin causes smaller babies)?
- Paternal Height. "Offspring of fathers with heights 2 SDs above or below the mean have a term birth weight that is increased or decreased by 125 g, respectively." The Hubster is 6'4", which is 76 inches. The mean height for an American male is 5'10" (70 inches). The standard deviation is 3" (actually, I think it's 2.8"). So, the Hubster is at least two standard deviations above average height.
- Cigarette Smoking. "A mother who smokes 1 pack per day will likely have a baby with a mean birth weight reduction of 240-360 g at term." I don't. Blech. Although, if I knew it would have helped in this situation, I might have listened to Troy McClure's self-help tape "Smoke Yourself Thin."
- Glucose Tolerance. "Uncontrolled maternal diabetes mellitus is commonly associated with excessive fetal weight." Not something I have to worry about, thankfully.
What does all this mean? Who the hell knows. The same article has some information on working all of this into a complex equation to determine range of error in fetal birthweight prediction for a specific case. But as I always tell my students, I became a history teacher because it was my understanding there would be no math.
I know that I can handle birthing a seven to eight pound baby. Well, as much as I really know anything. This is all part of my think-positive, plan-of-no-plan. I'll let you know how it all works out for me.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Pregnancy: One Big Blonde Moment*
*I can say this, because I was blonde by the grace of nature as a child (and sometimes blonde by the grace of my hair stylist as an adult).
Friday, May 09, 2008
Men seldom make passes at girls who... are 37 weeks pregnant*
Your body retains extra fluid throughout pregnancy. This causes the cornea (the outer layer of your eye) to get about 3 percent thicker, a change that may become apparent by the 10th week of pregnancy and persist until about six weeks after delivery. Intraocular pressure (pressure of fluid within your eyeball) decreases about 10 percent during pregnancy. These two events, in combination, may cause slightly blurred vision.
If you wear contact lenses, particularly hard lenses, you may find them uncomfortable because of these changes.
-- Mayo Clinic Complete Book of Pregnancy and Baby's First Year
Guess who hasn't been able to wear her contacts (which, coincidentally, are hard lenses) since Ski Weekend, back in February? Cute as I may be with four eyes, my patience with this, like so many things, is wearing thin.
*Dorothy Parker. Gotta give a girl her props. (And she actually wrote "Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.")
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Patience, Grasshopper
Otherwise, I'm still long, close, firm and posterior. I'm at 157 pounds, so that's just under a pound gained from last week (32 pounds overall). The baby's heartrate was 144. ("Best beat I've heard all day," the doc said. I was tempted to ask if he thought he could dance to it.)
When Dr. Maestro walked into the exam room, his opening line yesterday was, "I thought you were supposed to have gone into pre-term labor by now." Funny guy. He should see about joining Lewis Black (I love Lewis Black) on tour. We talked about induction, but obviously I'm not inducible. He said he'd only give me a Bishop's Score of 2 (a -1 station and a 0 station have the same score!) and he won't try to induce unless it's at least 6.* He won't even give me one measly point for having a previous vaginal birth. Before I left, he did say if he had any excuse to induce, he would. So, as usual, I am to call him if I have spotting or a leakage of fluid or anything. Otherwise? I got a cheery "See you next week!"
I'm trying to be very Zen about the whole thing (or, I guess if we're using Kung Fu references, I might want to specify Shaolin Buddhist, but Shaolin is a Ch'an, or Zen, Temple, so to my Western mind, same difference.). I'm trying to practice patience. This is the same lesson I had to learn while trying to conceive; when it comes to babies, there is no planning. I have to stop trying to control every aspect of this experience.
I'm trying to come up with some affirmations to repeat to myself when I start trying to control or plan this birth. This baby will come when it's ready to come. I've done this before and I can do it again. I'm only 37 weeks; why rush things? I need a good mantra. I know mantras are really more of a Hindu thing, but, hey... if I'm stealing from Eastern religions, I might as well take as much as I can get.
But I did make a couple of concessions to my new plan-of-no-planning. The first was to start drinking some red raspberry leaf tea, which won't necessarily make me inducible, but might help me push out a giant baby. I know, I know... I'm grasping at straws. You'll see: Bigger straws are to come.
The second concession was to ask for help from my faith-leaning friends, asking for prayers. This is a big step for an non-theist, although I do believe in the power of positive thinking and visualization. Last week I mentioned the need to be inducible to my sort of generic Christian friends (especially the one who prayed for me to get pregnant and then -- hey! -- that month I did! and then she prayed for the baby to be healthy at the amnio and -- hey! -- he was!) and asked for their "help." Yesterday I upped the ante, recalling the friends from last week and bringing in the big guns. I called my stepmother and asked her to put in a word with her mother. Two important characteristics about my step grandmother: 1) She's a devout Italian catholic, so she's the closest I can get to a direct line to the Pope and 2) she died two years ago (at 93 years old), so she might actually know the Catholic god now. Like personally. I also called my oldest friend in the whole wide world (oldest in the sense that we've known each other since we were about two years old). Her religious creds: daughter of a rabbi who is the son of a famous rabbi (wish I could tell you who, but since I keep this blog is anonymous, I don't want anything pointing back to me. Suffice it to say, there are streets and the like named after him and the family in Israel) and she's studying to be a rabbi herself. My thought was -- before I went all Grasshopper -- hey, my doctor is Jewish, maybe I need Jewish prayers in order for them to work. Oh, yeah. Rational thoughts from the non-believer. Everyone was very supportive of my new-found insanity and offered their help.
My biggest concern is really that my fears will impede the success of this birth (the power of negative thinking, in this case). I'm incredibly worried that I won't be able to push a large baby through my pelvis or that if I do somehow manage, I'll end up with a fourth degree tear. I know that thinking like this is counterproductive.
So, I need to be patient and I need to be positive. Easier said than done. But I'm working on it. I keep hearing the master's voice saying, "Snatch the pebble from my hand."
*Since many docs won't induce until a score of 8 or 9, I've at least got this going in my favor.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
The Great Skeet Shoot*
This go-round, the Hubster has come up with a whole new category of suggestions for the Zorro Phase: Names that sound like other, more familiar names. Why? For the sake of confusion, and the hi-jinks that therefore ensue, I am only to guess. For example, Kebin. As in, "Kevin?" "No... Kebin." Other ideas he thought were "worth" mentioning? Stege (for Steve) and Marp (for Mark). Oh, the laughter... **
"Nelson?" "You mean as in, 'ha-ha!' "
"Isaac?" "Like the bartender on The Love Boat?"
"Amos?" "Oh, as in: and Andy?"
- The Baby Name Wizard: A Magical Method for Finding the Perfect Name for Your Baby
- Beyond Jennifer and Jason, Madison and Montana: What to Name Your Baby Now
- An oldy, but a goody: The Very Best Baby Name Book in the Whole Wide World (45,000 Baby Names)
The terrible book which was chosen, as mentioned above, by the poor technique of "the more names, the better" is The Complete Book of Baby Names (100,001+ Baby Names). My problem with the book is twofold. First of all, the origin of each name is given, with many of the the origins listed as "Native American." Maybe I wouldn't take so much offense at this if I didn't spend the better part of a unit each fall explaining to my kiddos that Native Americans do not comprise a single cultural group, but instead are thousands of cultural groups spread out across two continents and an entire hemisphere. It makes as much sense as classifying something as "African" or "Asian" in origin. Those are continents, not cultural groups or areas. By classifying something as such, you've done no more than help someone narrow down to a vast region of the world where something came from, and have told them little else. The other issue that I have with this book is that many names seem to be simply made-up. And then given the classification or origin of "American." Most of these include spelling variations like "Sundae." Really? You're really going to suggest that I name my child after a Da.iry Queen dessert? Or how about Starbuck, who those of us that grew up in the seventies will remember as a character on the original (single-season) Battlestar Galactica TV series (and possibly the remake, which I haven't seen)? This book gives the meaning of the name as "an astronaut." Again... really?
Next comes The Great Skeet Shoot Phase. This is where one of us throws out a name and the other rejects it. For no other reason than "I don't like it." If, while perusing the baby name books, I am to say "What about..." I'm often cut off by the Hubster who says, "Wait." and then pretends to site a shotgun. "Pull!" he'll call, predicting that this name, like its predecessors, will be shot down. At this point one or both of us have reached the frustration level, and we usually agree to table the discussion for a set period of time.
This go-round, we're still processing. Last night we re-opened the discussion and have decided that the time has come to nail down a name. We've reached the It's Crunch Time Phase.
I decided last night that I'd rather write another graduate thesis than name another male child.
For further inspiration, I suggest the scene from Knocked Up (it might be in the DVD extras), where the friends of the male lead suggest celebrity-style baby names. My personal favorite: Pontius Pearslice.
Another good resource is the Oh-no-you-di'int-style website: Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing.
*I know that the use of the direction "Pull!" refers more to trap shooting than skeet shooting, but in American iconography, the term "Skeet" just has more, you know, oomph.
**I should note that he actually knows someone with one of these names.
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Are you ready to ruuumble?
I asked her about her induction, especially about whether she was dilated and effaced going in. It was a pretty standard induction; she went in the night before and they used prostaglandin gel to soften her cervix, then induced her the next day with pitocin. She said if she was dilated at all before going to the hospital, it was a fingertip at most.
When I mentioned the comment my OB had made regarding inducing me "if I was inducible," she said he may have meant if the baby's lungs were developed. I totally forgot that she had an amnio to check for fetal lung development before her induction. I wonder if that's what my doc means by "inducible;" not so much my cervix, but the baby's lungs. Tomorrow is my 37 week appointment. Since my doc mentioned inducing at 38 weeks, I'm sure we'll discuss the options.
On a related note, I discussed this with my mother-in-law this weekend, who told me that the Hubster was 7 pounds 14 ounces at birth (an ounce less than I previously thought). What I didn't know was that she was induced two weeks early with him, because she was RH negative and the RH factor "was starting to affect his blood." (Although how they knew this in 1969 I'm not sure). So he was almost eight pounds at 38 weeks. Possibly a nine pounder if he'd gone to term. That information only served to confirm what the last ultrasound predicted, as far as I'm concerned.
Monday, May 05, 2008
Or at least one of those cool Sky-Pad apartments like the Jetsons
Friday, May 02, 2008
War Stories (Or the Monkeyboy's Birth Story, Part 3: Conclusion)
My attitude is very different. My learning style has always relied on a wide range, both in breadth and depth, of facts and information. Then I analyze and synthesize the relevant information and come up with my own conclusions. So I have always avidly sought out women's birth stories, because each bit of information I could absorb gave me more insight into what might be in store for me.
Apologies for my extended rendition of the story of Monkey's birth. (Why did I think that I could write in in one post?) Hopefully, this is the final installation.
I was moved to a labor and delivery room, which was much larger and more comfortable than triage. The L&D nurse assigned to me introduced herself and doubled checked the information in my computerized chart. "It says here that for pain relief, you want an epidural. Is that right? Whenever you think you are ready, just let me know and I'll call the anesthesiologist down." She said.
"I'm ready right now." I told her.
I had a friend later ask me how labor really was and how I knew I wanted an epidural. When I thought about it, I told her that I realized it was time for serious pain relief when I reached a point where I was being mean to people who were being nice to me and trying to help me.
The anesthesiologist arrived, with (this shows you how out of it I was by that point) some other guy in tow. I'm sure I was introduced, and I think it might have been a resident or intern, but I can't for the life of me remember who the other guy was. The anesthesiologist I remember, because he gave me a gift that I will remember the rest of my days, should I live to be 100: Pain relief.
A friend of mine had her first baby about three months before the Monkeyboy was born. She ended up having an emergency c-section because, after three hours of pushing, the baby had not moved down the birth canal at all. When we talked about the birth, I asked her if she was okay with how things had turned out; with having had a c-section. Her response? "If at that point they would have told me 'We're going to have to deliver this baby through your mouth,' I would have been okay with that." I've had people question me about having an epidural. For most of these women, the issue isn't the pain relief vs. natural labor that I thought it would be, the big issue is that "they stick a giant needle in your spine." OldChristine, as a matter of fact, never had one for the single, simple reason that she was too worried about the possible risks to herself. Since I'd already had an amnio, I wasn't concerned about another needle. And since I was already contorted with excruciating pain, I have this to say: If they had told me "We have to stick this needle in your eye to give you an epidural," I would have said, "Okay. Which eye do you want?"
I was familiar with the risks, but the anesthesiologist had to go over them anyway. Any time I have anesthesia, I have to remember to inform the doctor that my mother suffered respiratory failure from anesthesia while having her tubes tied (back in the seventies) because they used Anectine on her. The anesthesiologist was the first of several doctors over the next few days who would ask the Hubster and me the question, "Do either of you work in the health-care field?" After we told him no, we asked why he wondered. He said that we were unusually articulate and well-informed on medical matters. And that we'd used the term "respiratory failure" instead of saying "she stopped breathing" which is what most people would have said. The Hubster said later that when the doctor had asked the question, he had really wanted to answer, "No, but I did sleep at a Holid.ay Inn Express last night."
After the epidural was in place, the anesthesiologist said he was going to give me a shot of something to lessen the pain immediately while I waited for the epidural to take effect. Since he was working behind my back, I couldn't see what he was doing, but the Hubster said he took a "huge" syringe full of Fent.anyl and injected it into my epidural line. Any surprise I felt pretty good after that?
It didn't take too long for me to feel better. I expected my legs to go numb or something otherwise dramatic to happen, but what I felt was merely a cessation of pain. I could still feel and move my legs. OldChristine and her hubby returned, but she had forgotten to bring me comfy socks, so I ended up delivering in the black socks I had been wearing that day. (I felt like a nerdy computer geek giving birth.) OldChristine commented, "So this is what having a baby is supposed to be like!" because I was now able to relax and speak coherently (remember, she had no pain relief during her delivery of twins). We were joking and talking when the L&D nurse came back into the room. She also said it seemed that I must be feeling better, since I was able to laugh.
The Hubster had called our families earlier that afternoon, informing them of what was going on and telling them that no one was to come to the hospital -- we'd call them when there was something to tell. My stepmother (to whom I am very close) was too excited by the thought that they baby was coming now (she never had any children of her own) and decided that she and my dad should come down anyway. OldChristine tried to run interference for me, but wasn't able in intercept them in time. Luckily, by the time they arrived, the nurse had just checked me and determined that I had only a cervical lip left. She said I'd be pushing soon. Thankfully, this was all my dad and stepmother needed to hear to declare that they'd be in the waiting room with OldChristine's husband.
My doctor came back and wanted me to try a few pushes to see if the baby was ready to move and if I could push with the epidural. The answer to the former was yes. The answer to the latter was no. Since I couldn't feel what was going on down there, and had never done this before, I wasn't very effective at pushing with an epidural. The doctor called anesthesia to come turn the epidural back down to half. He told me to let him know when I was feeling something and we'd start pushing.
Slowly I started to feel discomfort again, little whispers of what was really going on with my body. It was no more fun than it had been earlier that afternoon. After a while I told the nurse, "I'm starting to feel something, so could you go please tell the doc that if we're going to do this, then let's do it!" When the doctor returned, he again sat beside me on the bed and had me try one more "practice" push. Apparently it was go-time, because the room became all business. He asked OldChristine if she was staying for the birth, because the configuration of the room meant that once the decision was made, she couldn't leave in the middle of everything happening. She chickened out and decided to leave. The Hubster was not given the choice. The nurses "broke the bed" (removed the lower half), turned on a special bank of lights surrounding a mirror on the ceiling and made other preparations.
The nurse and doctor coached me through pushing, and between contractions my doctor did perineal massage and stretching, to try to keep me from tearing. Eeven though I could feel that something was going on, I still didn't feel like I was making any headway in the baby-producing department. The nurse, especially, was very encouraging with each push, telling me what a good job I was doing.
Earlier in labor, they'd put an oxygen mask on me, partly due to the fact that I have asthma. All it did was irritate me and make it feel harder for me to breathe. It made the air hot. Luckily, when I asked -- in the middle of pushing -- if I could take it off, they agreed. I think I was so apparently irritated by it at the time that they knew it was just getting in the way.
At one point I was so sweaty, I couldn't keep a good grip on my knees. I started to say "I can't... (get a grip on my legs)." When both the doctor and the nurse jumped right in with "Yes, you can! You're doing great!" and other words of encouragement. I think they thought I was giving up. This irritated me, because I meant nothing of the sort, so I had to explain myself.
When the baby started to crown, my doctor told me to reach down and feel the baby's head. He really wanted me to do this, but instead of it motivating me, which I know it's intended to do, I didn't want to. First of all, it would have required some serious contortions for me to reach down there and I was uncomfortable (that's putting it mildly) enough already. Second, I just wanted to get it done. The Monkey was born at 10:09 p.m.
Once the Monkeyboy was out, the doc put him on my stomach while he got the Hubster to cut the cord. Then, the NICU staff whisked him over to the warmer to do their initial check-up. I asked two questions: How are his lungs? and How much does he weigh? He was fine on both counts.
Hospital protocol is for babies born prior to 35 weeks gestation to spend at least three days in the NICU for observation (I guess after that point, it's a judgment call or based on need). Because of this, there was both a pediatrician and a NICU nurse in the room when he was born. After doing the inital check-up, the pediatrician wheeled the incubator he was in over to my bedside, told me they were taking him to the NICU and tried to tell me what was going on. I turned to the Hubster and said, "Make sure you're paying attention," because I was seeing double at that point. (In fact, I broke a blood vessel in my eye during pushing).)
When it was all done, I told the nurse, "I thought you were lying to me about pushing, saying I was doing a good job." Her response was, "I never lie about that. If someone isn't doing a good job, I don't want them to think they are, because I need them to try harder. You did a great job." Although I didn't watch the clock, the Hubster said he thought I pushed for about 45 minutes.
I delivered the placenta, and my doctor, who is so in love with his job that he has actually had me look at slides of my own yeast infection just because it was "so cool," held the placenta up out of the basin to show me all the parts, like the tear where the baby came out. "Touch it," he said, holding it close to me, "so you can see how it's both very thin and very strong." When I told OldChristine this story she asked, "So did you touch it?" I told her, "I threw him a bone, since I didn't touch the baby's head while it was crowning and he seemed so disappointed at that. I touched it."
I had only a small tear, and therefore two stitches did the trick. It took a couple of hours to get me moved to a postpartum room and get me a wheelchair so I could get down to the NICU to see the Monkeyboy.
Due to jaundice, the Monkeyboy spent five days in the NICU, but otherwise he was fine. At five pounds, nine ounces, he wouldn't have even been considered low birth weight if he were full term. He was never given any breathing assistance and was able to nipple all of his feedings (although breastfeeding was a bit of a challenge at the very beginning because he tired out so easily). We were very lucky.
Part 1
Part 2
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Dr. Maestro
So I asked my friends who are doctors themselves who they would recommend (since these friends are also women themselves). They recommended a woman they had gone to medical school with, who was our age, and who I was able to meet socially first to see if we clicked before making an appointment. This was the doctor that started treating me for infertility. We went through a few cycles of testing and early treatment and she directed me to call to schedule an HSG if my next cycle failed. Which it did.
So I called her office (a group practice) on cycle day one and was told she had quit the practice and moved to Hawaii.
I was practically in tears (okay, I was in tears), trying to explain to the nurse that I was supposed to schedule a test, that I didn't want to lose a cycle, but that I didn't think they had another woman doctor on staff. I offered to call back when I was more collected, but the very sweet nurse would not let me off the phone until she helped me. She scheduled an HSG with a woman doctor at a nearby practice with whom they were affiliated. This new doctor was fantastic. She did my HSG (without having even met me first), immediately scheduled me to come in to her office to discuss further treatment, and best of all, she prescribed the Clomid regimen that got me pregnant with the Monkey.
When I called her office to report I was pregnant and schedule my first prenatal visit, they told me "Congratulations! But this office won't be doing deliveries anymore in a few months, so although we can start your prenatal care, you'll need to find a new OB."
I scheduled my first prenatal appointment, but when I got to his office he had been called away to deliver a baby, so I had my introductory pelvic done by his PA. I met him at my next prenatal visit, but he never saw me with my pants off until the birth. The god-like abilities so praised by OldChristine? All true.
Yesterday, Dr. Maestro walked in the exam room, opened with "So, we're having a big baby, aren't we?" and chuckled.
Not what you want to hear from your doctor.
Dr. Maestro has always been good at quelling my fears and not letting my mind run away with worst-case scenarios. He's got a skeptical mind and presents things very straight-forwardly. I was hoping he would pooh-pooh the ultrasound as being only somewhat accurate in its estimation of the baby's size, but instead he seemed to put a reasonable amount of faith in it. Part of the belief is based on the fact that the Monkeyboy was big for his gestational age, so logically it follows that this baby could be slightly bigger. Which it is.
When he measured my fundal height, he said I was measuring at 35 weeks, which isn't as far behind as the PA thought. I told him I was worried about the baby's size, but he said, "Maybe when I'll check you you'll be four centimeters and we won't need to worry." I told him I doubted it. What he found? No surprise. Long, closed, firm and posterior. The only positive is that the baby has finally dropped a tiny bit: to a -1 station. I'll take what I can get at this point.
We discussed the big baby scenario and discussed my pelvic size. I reminded him of the "small pelvis" comment he made during the Monkeyboy's birth; since he'd just finished doing my pelvic, he nodded and said, "True."
"Let's hope you go into labor on your own soon," he said. "How does 37 1/2 weeks sound?" I told him it sounded great to me, but that based on my lack of progress, it didn't sound like that was going to happen. And if it didn't, did we have a plan? "Because I'd really like to not end up with stuck shoulders or some other complication."
"I don't want stuck shoulders .... they're no fun for the doctor either," he said.* "What I'd like to do is induce you at 38 weeks, if you're inducible."
I can't believe how quick I jumped at this option. My response? "I'm very open to that idea, if I'm inducible."
For those of you playing along on Bishop's Score: The Home Game, I'm not inducible. Even adding a point for having a previous vaginal birth only nets me a 3. The fourteen days to 38 weeks seems so long, and yet, so short when I think of how I've shown no progress so far. So many second-time moms are walking around 50% effaced and a few centimeters dilated at this point. Me? The girl who had such a hard time keeping a baby in last time? Showing no progress. However, I know that nine days before breaking my water with the Monkey, I was long, closed, firm and posterior. Even three hours after my water broke, I was still only one centimeter, yet I made it to ten centimeters dilated in the next five hours. I didn't think to ask the doc what he personally means as "inducible." That will have to wait until my next appointment, when I'm sure it will come up again. Until then, I'm thinking "open" thoughts. I'll even take one centimeter. Please.
As he left, he made the usual comments about calling the office if I have any regular contractions or any leakage of fluid before my next appointment, to which I responded, "I wish."
Other stats: Weight up a pound at 155 1/4 (30 1/4 gain total); blood pressure an awesome 122/58; baby's heartrate 148; Strep B test negative.
*Although I'm thinking that they're really a whole lot less fun for the mother and baby. And while we're at it, I'd like to say, what's up with the "We're having a big baby" comment? Only one of us has a uterus.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
36 Weeks
Two months into this pregnancy, my friend Heather gave birth to a small, six pound girl at exactly 36 weeks with no NICU time. I knew then that for me it would be a completely different story.
It's hard to believe that in just a couple of months time, I've gone from obsessively wanting to keep this baby in to now wanting this baby to come out (well, soon, at least). I RSVP'd to a birthday party yesterday for June 7, thinking that hopefully, by then, this baby will be here. I'm going to state right now for the record, if I go into June, I'm going to be pissed. If I go to 42 weeks (June 11), this will be a pregnancy that was two months longer than my previous one.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Weights and Measures
The ultrasound went well, although I knew it wouldn't be very exciting. When the PA had said to me on Wednesday, "At least you'll get another look at the baby!" My thought was, "Well, not really..." I'd had an ultrasound at around 28 weeks with the Monkeyboy and I remembered how crowded he'd been then. I couldn't even begin to imagine how cramped and pretzel-like this baby must be at 35 weeks.
Uh, pretty damn cramped and pretzel-like.
The ultrasound tech was very nice, one we'd had before. Although I could see the ultrasound screen they have angled for the parents to view, I couldn't read the measurements at the bottom. I saw the Hubster shift in his seat so that he could read them, so I knew he'd tell me later. (I almost wish he hadn't.)
After taking her time with all the usual measurements, including checking the amniotic fluid level, the tech spent a long time trying to get us a good 3-D (4-D?) ultrasound picture. I've always thought they were kind of creepy, but I guess when it's your baby, it's a little cooler. Kind of creepy-cool. But it still kind of looks like a generic baby, all smooshed up.
The baby kept his hand in front of his face almost the whole time (I'm sure due to the general smooshed-ness), but the tech was very persistent and even had me change positions a couple of times to try to get a good face shot. (I think she felt badly that we hadn't been able to get a video last time because they didn't tell us that they'd switched to DVD. I noticed that now in the waiting room, they have a sign that says you can buy a DVD or CD.)After all if this, the tech left to make some calculations. When she returned, here's what she laid on us: The amniotic fluid level looks fine. The baby looks just fine and based on the measurements they took, they can estimate the baby's size at this time. The baby is not measuring small for dates like the PA worried.
Now, just for fun, let's peruse a few selections of Your Pregnancy, Week by Week (Remember, I'm at 35 weeks):
Week 35 "Your baby now weighs over 5 1/2 pounds." Uh, no. But that's about what the Monkeyboy weighed at 34 weeks.
Week 36 "By this week, your baby weighs about 6 pounds." Keep guessing.
Week 37 "Your baby weighs almost 6 1/2 pounds." Getting warmer...
Week 38 "At this time, your baby weighs about 6 3/4 pounds." Ding ding ding ding! We have a winner!
Right now they estimate the baby weighs about 6 pounds, 12 ounces. At 35 weeks 2 days. Now, I know that ultrasound estimates of the baby's weight are notoriously inaccurate, but it's hard not to get wrapped up in the numbers.
She said, "If you go to full term, we think the baby will weigh about 9 pounds, 1 ounce."
Part of me is hardly shocked by this. When I was pregnant with the Monkey, I kept saying "If he goes to full term, I expect he'll be at least an 8 pound baby." My mother-in-law once asked me why I thought this, as the Hubster wasn't that big at birth. "What did he weigh?" I asked her, although I knew the answer. "7 pounds, 15 ounces," She answered. "You do realize that one more ounce would be eight pounds, right?" I asked.
Research about pre-term infants suggests that by their due date, they have caught up to what their birth weight should have been. By his due date, the Monkeyboy was 8 pounds 3 ounces. I myself had weighed 7 pounds, eleven ounces 35 years before when I was born (although I'm a short little thing now). Babies are just getting bigger these days, for a variety of reasons (like more nutritious foods and moms who don't smoke through pregnancy or try to keep their weight gain to the recommended twelve pounds that was told to OldChristine's mother back in 1970).
Now, I know that ultrasound estimates of fetal weight are notoriously inaccurate, with a margin for error reported, in the past, as being as high as 15-18%. However, they're getting better. My research shows that while these estimates are somewhat unreliable when done after 37 weeks gestation (birth weights currently reported as within 11% of estimates), they're considerably more reliable when done between 34 and 37 weeks (birth weights closer to within 6.2% or less of estimate). Much of the reason for ultrasounds being unable to reliably predict fetal weight after 37 weeks is that often by then, the baby's head is engaged low enough in the pelvis that an accurate measurement can't be made. So I guess there's something to be said for the -2 station he's been riding at, after all. The Hubster reported that when the ultrasound tech was determining the head circumference, the measurement came back as 37 weeks 4 days.
How is it that my fundal height suggests 32 weeks, but the ultrasound suggests a fetal weight of 37-38 weeks? I'm only 5'2"! Where the hell is this baby finding the room? Is my uterus a biological tardis, with more room on the interior than the exterior? Or is this an indication that in my case, the ultrasound is inaccurate and I'm just having an average baby?
Nobody is more aware of the truly ironic dichotomy presented by two of my biggest birth fears. First, that I would pPROM again and this baby would be born even earlier than the Monkeyboy. That obviously didn't happen. Now I can replace that with the newfear, first foreshadowed by my 18-week level II ultrasound back in December, that this will be the Incred.ible H.ulk Baby.
When I raised this concern months ago with my OB (and reminded him that he commented on my small pelvis size during my first birth), he said we'd revisit the subject again if it became an issue. By the time I see him again on Wednesday, I'll be 36 weeks and the baby, if the ultrasound is even reasonably close to accurate, will be about seven pounds (estimates usually add at least an ounce a day). I think the time has come to revisit this subject. (Fears: cephalo-pelvic disproportion, c-section due to macrosomia, shoulder dystocia, second-, third-, or fourth- degree episiotomy, among others).
I don't know that there are any good answers to my questions or solutions to my concerns, but I'd like to start thinking up strategy. What I'd love is for this baby to decide to come on his own sometime within the next couple of weeks. I'd be open to discussing an induction after that point, after about 38 weeks, if my Bishop's Score improves, but not before there's some progress. My biggest fear is that I'll just go to term with no plan, a possibly too big baby (for me) and the big sword of "what if" hanging over my head.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Wednesday Afternoon Slap and Tickle
Yesterday was my weekly appointment (35 weeks), which for the last several weeks has gone past the usual wee n' weigh to include a check under the hood. As I told the Hubster the other day, "I'm getting more action from my doctor than I am from you these days." In the matter of good news/bad news, the good news is: I'm not progressing; the bad news is: I'm not progressing (I don't want to be pregnant forever, okay?)
Progress is usually calculated using the Bishop Score, which is comprised of five components: cervical dilation, effacement, consistency, position and the baby's station. Although the PA threw me a bone by saying the baby is at a -2 station (moving him ever so slightly south from the -3 where he's been), everything else on that list was a big negative. My cervix is still long, firm, closed and posterior (so for effacement, consistency, dilation and position, that's a big no, no, no, and no progress). The good news is that, for now, this baby isn't going anywhere. The bad news is that, well, is he ever going anywhere?
The baby's heart rate was around 142. My weight is at 154 1/4 which is a two pound weight gain since last week (but averages only to a pound a week since I hadn't gained any last week. It's only a 29 1/4 weight gain overall, so that puts me at where I was nine days before the Monkey was born (I only weigh myself at the doctor's office). My blood pressure was somewhat elevated (for me, that is), at 138/60 (I'm usually about 110/60 max), but there's no protein in my urine and I have no swelling going on, although, apparently swelling isn't considered to be the significant factor it once was when diagnosing pre-eclampsia. And of course, HELLP syndrome is high on my list of things I like to obsess about during this pregnancy, so it's always nice to have another, related concern along for the ride (especially because I've had low grade headaches, slight nausea, and pain under my right-hand ribs for the last few weeks -- all of which I forgot to ask the PA about).
The baby is still head down, and the PA commented (for the third time now) that it was a very clear exam. She had a student with her and asked if the student could palpate my uterus to see what it felt like, because it was so obvious. They played around for a few minutes, feeling for body parts. It was interesting hearing them talk about it, because it confirmed what I've been thinking I could feel when I do the same thing to myself. The PA (really wish I could come up with a cool pseudonym for her) told the student that it was not always as easy to tell on some women and commented that my exam was so clear because I'm so petite and really "all baby." This is a double-edge sword, as we will see in the next paragraph.
The most significant factor right now -- and there's always something, isn't there? -- is that I'm measuring 32 weeks at 35 weeks. For the last month or so, pretty much since I started my weekly appointments, I've been measuring a little behind where I should. At first, it was only by a week, which really means nothing, but then it was by a couple of weeks and now by three weeks, so tomorrow I'm going for another ultrasound. The PA said she wanted to make sure that I didn't have low amniotic fluid and that the baby was measuring appropriate for the date. She also said not to worry, that the small measurement could be due to the fact that, as she had said before, I am very petite and "all baby." I'm trying not to worry, but my mind goes in all sorts of unpleasant directions. I'm not the only one. After I called the Hubster to tell him I was scheduling the ultrasound, he texted me "What is she concerned about? IUGR?" ( We have a friend whose first baby was an eight-plus-pounder, but then had two IUGR babies.) I've said it before: In pregnancy, anything's possible.
As I mentioned the other day, I've never been this pregnant before, so it's hard to know what to expect at this point. Is it possible that I just don't have that much room in me for a baby? I remember reading on a message board a comment by a women who had had three pre-term babies. She said they had all been born healthy and with developed lungs, even as early as 32 weeks. She said her doctor suggested that since she was petite, it was like her body got the babies ready and just said, "Five pounds and... you're out!"
I also had the Group B Strep test done, which, if the past is any predictor of the future, will end up being some further complication I have to deal with. (Sorry for that dive back into the Sea of Pessimism.)
Edited to Add: All afternoon I felt pretty crappy, had a headache and just felt terrible. The more I thought about my blood pressure at yesterday's appointment, the more it bothered me, so I stopped at the drugstore and took my BP this afternoon, which registered at a reassuring 118/65.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Uncharted Territory (or the Monkeyboy's Birth Story, Part 2)
I continued to leak amniotic fluid as I cleaned up the puddle I'd made on the bathroom floor, and called the Hubster. "Where are you?" I asked.
"I'm on my way home for lunch," he replied. It was about 11:30 a.m. on Saturday.
"Good, because I think my water just broke. I'm going to call the doctor. See you when you get here."
I called the answering service and waited for the doctor to call me back. After asking me a few questions (he was probably trying to make sure I hadn't just peed myself), my OB told me I should head in to the hospital (it's an hour long drive for us) and, if they determined that my water had broken, he'd be in to see me.
I got dressed and finished throwing together my hospital bag. I was very glad that I had struggled through my shopping trip of the night before. The one thing that I was lacking were comfy socks to deliver in, but nothing could be done about that (although I did briefly consider stopping at Wa.lm.art on the way to the hospital).
When the Hubster got home, he packed a bag for himself, too. "So if the hospital determines that your water has broken, what then?" He asked.
"They'll deliver the baby."
Oddly, I was not scared by what was going on. What a difference nine days make. It was simply the magical number "34 weeks" that gave me peace of mind. My friend, OldChristine, had eight-year-old twin sons that had been delivered by the same OB at 34 weeks. I knew that they had been fine and had required a NICU stay of less than two weeks. That single bit of information kept me from feeling anxious. Also, I knew that if my water had broken and labor started, at 34 weeks the hospital would not try to stop it, so, in effect, that train had left the station. All we could do was ride it out.
We threw our bags in the car, and at the last minute, I grabbed all of the baby name books and tossed them in, too. We had been going 'round and 'round about baby names since we found out the sex. Finally, a few months before, we had decided to table the discussion until the beginning of November, six weeks before the baby would be born. At this point we were each to have a list of five to ten serious contenders, which I was confident we could narrow down before the baby was born. I had been sick since the beginning of October and had not made my list yet (although we were five days into November, already). The Hubster took a piece of paper out of his wallet and waved it at me.
"I guess I get to name the baby, after all." He said, teasing.
As we got in the car, I used my cell phone to call OldChristine. She was shopping with her hubby (one of the Hubster's best friends) and sons, who were all excited when I told them what was going on. I told her I'd call her when we got to the hospital and knew what was happening. Other than the Hubster calling work to let them know he wouldn't be back, this was the only phone call we made. Until we knew what was going to happen, I didn't want to start calling family. I'm the opposite of a drama queen, more of a private, Greta Garbo-"I want to be let alone"-type. The last thing I wanted was anyone showing up at the hospital. OldChristine had expressed a desire to be there, and she was the absolute single person other than the Hubster that I was willing to have in the delivery room (other than the obvious necessary medical personnel).
By the time we made it to the hospital (after driving through a Wen.dy's on the way, because I knew the hospital wouldn't let me eat once I got there), registered and were placed in a triage room, it was about 2:30 p.m. I had soaked through the giant pad I'd put on to contain the amniotic fluid. There was a big wet spot on the butt of my jeans. The nurses and resident that saw me asked if I was sure of my gestation (I put that to bed pretty quickly with a discussion of fertility meds), asked my plans for pain relief ("An epidural," I told them. "Well, probably crying, and then an epidural."), and checked to see if my water had really broken. The resident said they use three tests to check for amniotic fluid, to make sure that at least two agree. I know they tested with a nitrazine strip and did a slide to check for ferning, but I can't remember what the third test was. I do know that the tests (like four out of five dentists quizzed on Trident gum) agreed -- my water had broken.
At this point, I'd been having only some low back pain, nothing I could label as contractions. Instead, it was more like menstrual cramps. Before doing a cervical check, the resident asked me if I'd had any leaking prior to that day. As I thought about it, I realized that I probably had been leaking since Wednesday or Thursday of that week. I remembered how at work, by the end of the day, I'd felt "sweaty," and that because of that I'd changed my pantiliner before leaving work. The more I thought about it, it occurred to me that it was a "wet" feeling, not like anything I'd had before. I told this to the resident and then added, "I probably should also mention that last night I took a bath."
The resident did a cervical check around 3:00 p.m. and declared me to be "maybe one centimeter." She tested me for Strep B, since it hadn't been done yet, and the test came back as inconclusive. So for that reason, as well as the bath issue, she decided to put in an IV , so she could start me on antibiotics. I've always been complimented by phlebotomists on my large, cooperative veins (comments like, "You must work out"), but the person they sent in to put in my hep lock took several, painful tries before she asked for help. The nurse hooked me up to a contraction monitor and a fetal heart rate monitor. Then the resident said she was going to call my doctor and she'd be back to check on me. It was more than two hours before we saw her again.
Around 3:30, a nurse came in to check on me. She said," Umm, your sister's here?" I was starting to get uncomfortable, so I apparently wasn't very patient or nice to her. I hardly remember the conversation, but the Hubster told me about it later. His actual words were, "and then you were mean to that nurse."
When she told me my "sister" was here, evidently my response was a curt, "That's impossible." (In retrospect, I'm sure it made sense. After all, we still hadn't called our families yet.) The nurse persevered. "A woman... about your age... long dark hair... she has two boys with her?"
"That's OldChristine." I snarled. "She's insane."
Since only one support person is allowed in triage (the rooms are very small) -- and I was starting to act just a little like Regan from The Exorcist -- the Hubster generously offered to step out so OldChristine could come in. He also said he was going to call our families.
"Be sure to tell them not to even think about coming to the hospital, that we'll call them when we want them here." I ordered, as he fled from the room.
OldChristine came back, very excited to be there. She said they had been shopping nearby and, since they hadn't heard anything, they stopped to see what was going on. I told her we were waiting for the doc to show up , but that they said they would probably move me to labor and delivery soon. OldChristine and her husband were going to drive home to drop the boys at her mother's and were going to come back to the hospital. "Stop at Wa.lmar.t and bring me some comfy socks," I told her, before she left and the Hubster returned.
In the meantime, the Hubster's phone began to ring. And receive text messages. (I had turned my phone off when we got to the hospital). When he'd called work to tell them he wouldn't be back, he had told them that my water had broken (I didn't know that's what he said up to this point). Through an odd set of circumstances, the wife of one of his coworkers (who wasn't even working that day!) had found out. She was also the friend that I'd talked to that morning just before my water broke. She was also the biggest gossip in our group of friends, coworkers and acquaintances. She was digging for information as to what was going on, because she wanted to be the first to know, so she could spread the word. I just wanted to be left alone. We just called our parents, for Pete's sake. When she didn't get any response from us, she proceeded to call or text every other person that we both knew in common and ask them if they had any information. This is how all of our friends found out I was in labor.
By now, I was definitely feeling something. A painful something. An unending, unrelenting, painful something. Although the Hubster and I tried to interpret what we saw on the monitor, we couldn't tell when one contraction stopped and when another one started. Apparently, this is because once contractions started they came one on top of another, with almost no rest in between. I didn't even have time to catch my breath.
Since we hadn't seen the resident in over an hour, I hadn't seen a nurse since the one I was mean to had brought OldChristine back, and my doctor had yet failed to arrive, I told the Hubster that he needed to go find someone and tell them I needed something for pain. He returned from his mission to say that he had told someone at the nurses station.
And yet, no one came to check on me.
After another half an hour -- which felt like one long, body-tensing contraction -- I sent him back out to the nurse's station. He returned again, saying this time that he had found the nurses and the resident (Remember her? The one who said she'd be back to check on me two hours ago?) watching TV. He said he was less than nice to them, and that they were right behind him. It was now about 5:30 p.m.
When they walked in the room, I was doing my best to bear the pain. I was straddling the bed and leaning forward to try to alleviate the tautness of my body, to get some relief. My entire body felt tense, from shoulders to hips. I still was unable to tell when contractions began or ended; it was just constant pain. I had tears running down my face.
"Oh, honey," the nurse said. "You said you were going to cry, but I thought you were only joking!" Suddenly, the resident was all business. She checked me again and said I was a little over three centimeters. She and the nurse started to make arrangements to move me to an L & D room, so I could get the epidural I wanted.
To be continued...
Monday, April 21, 2008
34 Weeks 5 Days (or the Monkeyboy's Birth Story, Part 1)
The story really begins nine days earlier (at 33 weeks 3 days, for those of you playing along on the home game), when I arrived at work on a Thursday morning and stopped in the faculty restroom for my pre-homeroom pee break to discover that I was spotting. Since I hadn't seen blood in, oh... 33 weeks 3 days, I panicked and immediately called my doctor's office. They said it was probably nothing to worry about, but to come in anyway just to be sure (I had been there only two days prior for a routine wee n' weigh check). I started to cry a little when I told my principal I had to leave, because I was scared. It was only the end of October -- and I wasn't due until the middle of December. My due date seemed like a long way off. The Hubster met me and we drove in to the office. On the way to the office, I had my first couple of real contractions (actually, I never noticed Braxton Hicks contractions during that pregnancy at all), but it was only one or two. When I returned to work, I told a pregnant friend there (another first-timer) that I had a couple of real contractions and, "For the record... Ouch!"
At my OB's office, I was seen by the PA and her intern. They did a pelvic, declared my cervix to be long and closed (I swear I remember her saying "high and tight" because it made me think of a Marine's haircut), but discovered that I had a BV infection and a yeast infection. Lucky me; two for the price of one. For good measure, they also did a non-stress test, which found the baby doing just fine. I was sent home with a couple of prescriptions and the usual admonition not to engage in "relations," including those of the oral variety. The next morning I was still spotting a little, so I took another day off work. Since it was Friday, one more day gave me three days to rest before returning to work the next week.
By Monday I felt just fine (well, as fine as I could at that point in my pregnancy), so I was back at work. I had a new fire lit under me with the recent scare, so I frantically tried to finish getting ready for my long-term substitute. I was also trying to get my labor/hospital bag ready at home. By the end of the week, I was tired and felt terrible. In fact, I felt so terrible by the end of the day Friday that during my the last class I had another teacher watch my students for a few minutes so I could run (okay, waddle) to the nurse's office.
"Do you have a BP cuff?" I asked her when I walked in. She laughed.
"Usually teachers come in to ask me if I have a bandaid. What's wrong?" I told her I just didn't feel right, so I wanted her to check my blood pressure. She checked it, and said for good measure she'd take my temperature, too, but eventually declared everything to be normal.
"I guess I just feel like crap because I just feel like crap," I commented after I thanked her. I returned to my class and finished out the day. But I just still felt "off." It was nothing I could describe -- I just felt miserable.
It was the Hubster's last weekend scheduled to work "before the baby comes," which meant he was working that Friday night. Although I was tired and felt miserable, I still went shopping to finish getting what I needed "before the baby comes." I remember complaining on my cell to the Hubster as I drove to Ta.rget. He suggested that if I felt that bad I should just stay home, but I told him I just wanted to finish my preparations -- things like getting a nursing bra -- so that I could maybe relax a little.
My shopping seemed to take forever. They were either out of what I needed (like comfy socks for delivery) or the choices were completely new to me (I had never bought a nursing bra before). I was also not operating at peak performance due to the way I was feeling. I think I spent about fifteen minutes standing in front of the maxipad selection alone, trying to determine what I needed for postpartum (since I hadn't used them since junior high). On the drive home after my marathon shopping trip, I was so tired, felt so strange, and yet was still being plagued by my usual late-pregnancy complaints (like tingly, painful hands that fell asleep as I drove), that I cried. In retrospect, driving along, alone in the dark, crying, was not a good sign. At the time, though, I didn't see it as a foreshadowing.
At home, I soaked in a bath because it sometimes reduced the swelling in my feet and calves and calmed the restless leg syndrome to help me sleep. Then I went to bed, determined to sleep in the next day. I also had plans to do laundry and clean my house. These needs had built to embarrassing proportions because I had been so sick for the last month, I could do nothing but lie around and try to feel better.
Saturday morning, I chatted with a friend of mine on the phone (she had just had her baby nine days previously, the day I had started spotting). She asked what I had planned for the day, since the Hubster was working, and I said, "I'm going to go to the grocery store, then come back, do laundry and clean my house."
I got dressed and, before I left the house, decided to check something in one of my pregnancy and birth books. As I bent over to get the book from a low shelf, I sneezed and felt a small gush of fluid. Did I just pee myself? I wondered. I had just gone to the bathroom, but knew that in late pregnancy, just about anything's possible. So, back to the bathroom I went, to be absolutely sure this time that I emptied by bladder. As my little "accident" had overflowed my pantiliner, I changed my clothes from the skin out. Then, while washing my hands, I felt another small gush of fluid. What the hell?! I thought, although it was starting to dawn on me what was probably happening. Remembering that the Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy said if at all possible, take a shower as soon as labor starts, since you don't know how much longer it will be until you get another one, I decided to take a shower before I went to the grocery store, just in case. I undressed, and as I crossed the bathroom to the shower, the floodgates opened. This was no small gush. It was absolutely, undeniably, obvious to me that my water had just broken.
To be continued...


