Thanksgiving

Rumor has it, it's the most popular coming out day of the year. But I can't check the veracity of this because last week I discovered that "gay and lesbian content" is blocked by the school's internet censor. Apparently it's placed in the same vein as pornography, myspace and other things that teens are meant to avoid (at least during school hours). I find this idea more than a little offensive.

What a long strange trip... it still is.

It seems I don't have ovarian cancer (or at least most likely don't). But the infertility merry-go-round keeps surprising me, as now the diagnosis might be poly cystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS).

This is the first time that it's been suggested since I first started TTC back in 2003. This is my third doctor (switched to him after becoming pregnant with DS). The first didn't want to try Clomid because my charts showed I was ovulating, but scheduled an HSG. She then quit the group practice. The second doctor performed the HSG (all clear) and wanted to try Clomid (and estradiol and progesterone) because she said I might have luteal phase deficiency. Clomid worked on the first cycle. So that, it seemed, was that. (The second doctor stopped doing deliveries after I got my BFP so I switched to my third and hopefully last doctor).

Now, with the new weird symptoms, the Physician's Assistant said they seemed to be ovarian-related. I agree, as they are cyclical. They start around ovulation and continue until my period. But I was very surprised when she suggested PCOS. I mean, the hallmarks of PCOS are being overweight, anovulatory and being hairy (the official term is hirsutism). I am none of those. I'm little, I seem to have regular cycles (29-ish days), and I don't have any hair issues. Another symptom is acne, and I have had this mild adult acne thing going on since I started my thirties (I had perfect skin in my teens and twenties). I used to have a couple of long cycles a year (which would indicate they were anovulatory), even when I was on birth control pills. The PA said that even though my cycles show a bi-phasic shift, it might be that the follicle is developing (or many, as the case is in PCOS) but it doesn't actually get up enough oomph to really release the egg. It justs thinks it has. The Clomid and the progesterone would have helped that, as they are fertility treatments used for PCOS.

So now I wait until the middle of this cycle and I have bloodwork done (LH/FSH/Progesterone) and a trans-vaginal ultrasound. In a way, I'm excited, because if this is what's going on it explains so much. It will also give us a protocol to follow when we try to TTC next spring/summer. But of course, I'm not thrilled about the symptoms of PCOS, especially the fact that sometimes even "thin cysters" (see, I've already been on some message boards and am picking up the lingo) gain weight later on in life. But for now I'm waiting for the actual diagnosis.

Doctor's appointment

I made a doctor's appointment for this Thursday because for the last two months or so, I've been having some strange symptoms, new and unusual for me, that make me think there's some sort of problem. After ruling out things like appendicitis and my gallbladder, I've narrowed it down to different levels of horrible things, such as endometriosis, uterine fibroids or ovarian cancer. The last one is what got me off my butt to make the appointment, since it moves really fast.

The only speedbump may be that I'm expecting my period any minute now, which would mean that I'd have to reschedule my appointment. I'm obsessing on this I can barely wait until this Thursday. Having to reschedule (which is going to happen), is going to put me over the edge.